On the 11th I had a say on the 11th. I meant to write about it to capture it all. However, I ended up doing a voice memo that was 3:45 minutes long. Below is the transcription of it. Please be mindful that it includes swearing and mentioning some heavy talk. However, it was real and it happened. I figured I would share it with you, and could elaborate later. I only left out one part.

In the future I may dive into why these words are so significant to me. There are many layers to it, but I wanted to at least share this this day. May you find something that helps you.

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I hear you.

I hear you.

I hear you.

That is literally what I’m trying to say. Sometimes that is all we want to hear. Sometimes we just need to know that somebody hears us. or maybe that’s just my perspective, because then the question is “well what about the actions? You hear , you hear, but what does that mean? What are you gonna do about it? Listening only does so much…”

…but I hear you and I do things for you… so why don’t you see me?

Why don’t you see me trying? Why don’t you see me making things better? Making things easier? making things

Why don’t you see?

That is a message from me, for me. but it’s also a message I’ve been giving and receiving. That’s the message I got when I saw the sun today: golden. That’s the message I got when I saw the rainbows. That’s the message I got when I literally handed him “I hear you”.

He could’ve chosen any of fucking those things and he chose “I hear you.” He didn’t know, I held them out, he picked “I hear you.” All the things, the simplest things, “I hear you.” And then today, what’s written for me to say to the customers? “I hear you, say that often.”

And then the very last call this day. The very last call of this day when i literally just wanted wanted to die. I’m tired of this, I’m so fucking tired, I’m tired, I’m just tired. I’m trying , I’m trying, I don’t get it…. The very last call he had to pick a pin. And the pin he picked was… of his 11 year old daughter who was born the same day that I was born, the same day that you were born, the same day that his child was born, because I am a child. I am a child. I am a child and I am tired of this shit. I just want to fit. How do I fit?

But I am heard. I’m heard because I’m not alone because I am loved.