Will I join me more often? Can I show up for myself time and time again?

They say a habit takes repetition. Something about needing to make yourself do the things that need being done over and over again. Sometimes I’m so bogged down by the things that aren’t as important that I lose stamina to do the things that are important. Thankfully at work I can help people, but being bound by clocks and timecards is limiting. It also doesn’t help that I’m not certain of what I’m doing that adds stress. Of course that will change overall. It will get better.

But will I show up for myself even after showing up for others? After doing more for others, can I make myself do more for me? There’s so much I want to do: write books for children and adults all alike, learn more about editing wordpress so I can make this blog look better, show up here more so I can just be me. So I can be me with you.

That may sound too intimate, but it’s true. If you’re still reading this, you opted into carrying on with me in these moments. I would like to do more for you. I would like to lay out my thoughts, yes, but I want to help you, too. Such a broad ambition. There are so many people who could be reading this. What does it actually mean to “help?” All of our ideas of what that is are different. What I mean, is I want you to be able to just exist as your true self without any harm done to you or to others. That is what I think I mean. Hopefully it’s something possible.

I guess first I have to do that for myself. Show up repeatedly for myself. By showing up for myself, I can help others…. but what does it mean to “help?”

If I keep trying to help others, I will ultimately hurt others. Too much light makes many shadows. Not all beings that dwell in the shadow are bad. So perhaps it’s not a bad thing… but the light encroaches on things that exist in just enough light to get by, so they don’t have to retreat farther into the shadows.

Either way, it shouldn’t be on me to fret too much about others. Helping them or hurting them… it’s all a matter of perspective. It’s all subjective. All I can do is try to stay true to me.

Be Still.

Be…

I will become all that I wish and more. It all starts with me.

I hope you know you start here, too.